Friday, October 10, 2008

Lantern Swag For Me To Blow Money On

Am I geeky enough to wear this?

Why yes. Yes I am. However, no one in my family will agree to buy it for me because I won't promise not to wear the mask in public. (The mask does flip up into the hood if you want to hide it.) I'm definitely buying it for myself, though I might also get the Flash version, because it just plain looks cooler -- it even has the little yellow lightning bolts on the hood!

Also... whoa, this is cool. I keep pretty close tabs on new merchandise because I'm a merchandise freak, but this one somehow managed to slip under my radar. A deluxe cloth costume Hal Jordan... with interchangable heads so that you can change your Hal into Tomar Re, Abin Sur, or... some Lantern nobody has ever heard of, who looks like The Creature From the Black Lagoon.

Pretty cool concept, except that I'm just about sick to death of Abin Sur. Come on. The dude died in his very first appearance. And for all that people keep talking about how awesome he was, I have yet to see anyone actually describe him doing anything remarkable. Unless you count being a total spaz about some prophecy and crashing his ship on a backwater planet, and then picking the ditzy pilot instead of the kickass gym teacher to be his replacement. (Though at least now we can blame the crash on Atrocitus, apparently. Yay retcons?) His head here is highly creepy, which I suppose is only fair, considering how creepy creepy Hal Jordan sometimes looks, what with those blank soulless eyes in his mask. Now we know where Hal learned it. ABIN SUR IS STARING INTO MY SOUL, AND HE CAN SEE MY DARKEST SINS.

I am okay with Tomar Re, though. It's a shame he died when he did, but him giving his ring to John is probably one of my favorite moments from the Crisis period.

If I'm not mistaken, there's also a set coming out in December which features yet another Hal figure, a Tomar Re, and an Abin Sur, with battle-damanged Manhunter and a comic with some decent reprints in it. It's a nice set and all, but... what about the Lanterns who are actually still alive and/or don't already have a dozen figures? Just glancing over some coming things, I see we're getting yet another Hal Jordan in January for the Justice League of America line. I know Hal's the Green Lantern and all, but I buy all these things, and I can tell you right now that I have about ten Hals on my shelf -- which is fine, but most of them are pretty much the same thing. Aside from when he was Parallax, Hal's costume doesn't really change. At least Marvel puts out "Stealth Strike Wolverine" and "Super Mambo Wolverine" or whatever, so that we can pretend that the five thousand Wolverines are actually all different figures.

If we must have three hundred Hals (and I'm way happier with three hundred Hals than I am with three Abin Surs, that's for sure!), why not give us some variety? Give us "Battle Damaged Hal" with a glorious ripped shirt, exposing his muscled abdomen as he does so frequently in the comics. Or how about "One Night Stand Hal", in nothing but his underwear and packaged with a pretty bimbo of your choice? "Hit By His Own Power Beam Hal" would surely be a crowd-pleaser, with his doubled-over posture and bewildered, cross-eyed expression. "Knocked Out Again Hal" wouldn't come with a stand, because he's lying down and has his eyes closed, and his limbs are all limp. He comes packaged with a small yellow object (a toy plane, perhaps, or a ceiling tile) and if you scratch him, he smells like Guy Gardner's urine. (Incidentally, he looks great when positioned on the shelf next to the "Gotta Take a Leak Guy" figure.)

Lest I leave you feeling too joyful, I must ask: will I be the only person who will actually pay money to own this monstrosity? That's right, kids -- a 1:6 scale, high-detailed, cloth costume figure of Sinestro that retails for roughly $80-$90 depending on where you get it.

At last! I can play dress-up with both Hal and Sinestro!

And isn't that what every weird little girl secretly wants?


SallyP said...

God, I'd kill for the 13" Hal AND Sinestro. That's a lot of money though. I've got college tuition to pay for.


We NEED some more Green Lantern figures. Why is it that there are only two Guys, and they are both the same body? I want a Warrior figure, dammit! And one with the yellow ring and cowboy boots. And we definitely need an Arisia, and Ch'p, and Soranik Natu, and Iolande and Sodam Yat, and Vath and Isamot, and so on and so forth. I think that a soft plushy Apros would be a hoot.

An unconcious Hal figure would certainly be appropriate. He's in that position just about more than any other.

Duskdog said...

Tomar Re will have as many figures as Guy with this set coming out, and that's not counting the interchangable head doll! And Abin Sur, bleh.

I'm holding out hope for the next wave of GL figures including an Arisia or a Soranik Natu, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they're going to feature a bunch of Rainbow Lanterns or dead Lanterns, or whatever gets the most screen time during the Blackest Night. Atrocitus, maybe whoever the 2814 Blue Lantern ends up being (I am holding out hope that whoever it is is from Earth and is a woman -- possibly a new character?), maybe Red Lantern Laira?

13" Hal is hard to find and tends to be sort of expensive. I got lucky and got mine on Ebay for a reasonable price. Someone is selling a custom Guy Gardner with cloth costume on there, too, but my bid never meets the reserve. Maybe next paycheck, if they re-list.