I walked up to Target on my lunch break today and finally came across one of the elusive JLU 3-packs with Fire, Ice, and John Stewart in it. My co-workers ridiculed me for coming back and declaring that I had discovered Hotness in a Box, but it's okay -- who has need of the esteem of others when one has Hotness in a Box? Certainly not I.
I'm not a huge fan of the figures themselves, small and cute as they are. They're wonderful likenesses of the characters as they appear in the cartoon, but they're just too short and non-poseable to appeal much to me. And I do have at least three other John Stewart toys. But Bea and Tora! I have plastic Bea and Tora! Tora has an upside-down iceberg-shaped boob window in her costume! Yay?
And it reminded me of this mighty craving I have, that maybe only me and four other people share. I still want Fire and Ice: Year One!
Of course it'll never happen. They're not popular enough characters to financially justify any mini, let alone a flashback one, and I can just imagine what folks would think of a supporting cast consisting largely of the Global Guardians, of all people, but... I want it so bad! I want naive, not-quite-fluent Tora being taught about the outside world by worldly, sort-of-a-partier Beatriz. I want them to have awesome adventures together. I want culture shock. But mostly, I just want awesome ladies in the early days of a pretty cool friendship. It would be like Gail Simone's Birds of Prey, only with less birds, less prey, and more ice princesses and Brazilian spies. In fact, Gail Simone should write it.
It also makes me wonder: when Tora mentioned to Guy in GLC #29 that she and Bea had been talking about "starting a...", I wonder what she was going to finish that sentence with before Guy interrupted her? Start a team? Start a commune? Start a charity for heroes recently resurrected from the dead? Start a prank war with the Bat-clan? (Massive failure: Bats don't have a sense of humor.) I'd really like to know what they're thinking about doing together. I've enjoyed Bea's development in Checkmate so far, but the book has been dragging something awful lately, and Bea really belongs in a more light-hearted book, anyway. I can appreciate that she's got scary skills and that she's more serious now, but ugh. Checkmate is bad news for everyone involved, and I'd rather not see her dead.
I bet Guy would be sad if he later learned that what Tora had actually been trying to say was "starting a threesome with you". You just blew your chance, chump. That'll teach you to throw temper tantrums every time your girlfriend brings up her girlfriend's name.